Feeling Safe 🔐

Safety. 

It's not what I was looking for in my 20s. 

When I was jumping out of planes at 12,000 feet…

Or when I was bungee jumping off a bridge in New Zealand dressed as Zorro wearing red undies over my pants. 

(Don’t worry, I taped the sword to my hand so I wouldn’t drop it.)  

Safety just wasn’t at the top of the list, you know? 

I was looking for a good time.

I was living every single second with the volume turned all the way up. 

I remember thinking, “What a story,” as I found my friend in a stranger’s dry bathtub in Vegas, fully clothed, chowing down on chicken wings.

I believed that kind of chaos fueled creativity. 

And in some ways, it did.

But you know what actually sustains creativity: SAFETY.

I know. Lame, right? 

But here's the truth:

• If you don’t feel emotionally safe…

• If you don’t feel financially safe…

• If you don’t feel physically safe…

• If you don’t feel like you can use your voice safely…

You won’t write.

You won’t create.

You won’t prioritize this essential part of yourself.

And you will not be able to sustain the discipline required to keep creating every single day.

If you don’t feel safe, it’s easier to quit.

Or to lock away your best ideas in your notes app.

The good news…

We aren’t Disney Princesses.

We do not need to wait for a prince to come save us.

We can create that sense of safety for ourselves.

After nearly ten years of freelancing, I’ve figured out a few ways to create more safety in the creative process. See if any of these resonate with you, and feel free to ignore the rest.

Find one safe person.

Send them your shitty first drafts. 

I hire a lot of writers. I work with a lot of writers. I am a writer. What I’ve learned over the years, is writers do better work when they feel SAFE to fuck up. They are more creative, courageous, and witty. They take more chances. 

If they don’t feel safe? 

They don’t ask for feedback. They don’t ask for help. They overly censor. Then they will send me predictable, templated garbage. (Or they will send it late because they’ve been stuck on some point in the writing and are trying to ‘figure it out themselves.’)

Don’t do that.

Movies, books, newsletters, and beautifully designed rooms are never created by one sole person.  

Find someone that you feel safe with, and share your shitty first draft. 

How do you pick your safe person?

This person can be a friend, a fellow writer, or an artist. You can hire someone. I like hiring people because it’s a clear exchange, and I know I can depend on the feedback. 

But it’s up to you. It just needs to be someone who truly wants good things for you. 

They will tell you hard truths, but do so with kindness because this person believes in your potential.

If you need more ideas on how to find this safe person, also check out Creativity Inc.

It’s one of my favorite books. It’s all about how Pixar used to create scripts and how they put together table reads. EVERYONE was invited to their table reads, even the Janitor. (One of my old editors, one of my safe people, recommended this book. And it’s changed how I create and how I look at creativity in general.)

Create a boring budget 

And actually track expenses…

Nothing kills creativity like debt or worrying about paying bills. 

Plus, the older I get, the more I find that my money represents how I’m spending my energy.

I know if I’m overworking, I will DoorDash my whole life. 

This is normally a sign that I need to stop being a capitalistic robot. 

Here are a few tools I use:

Shanna Skidmore’s Budget Templates

I use her budget templates for personal and business. I love that she has both. I did edit mine, so they are quarterly budgets, which just works better for me. I use each of these to set my budgets, and then I add my expenses to the document as well to ensure I’m on track.

It just helps me keep an eye on what I’m spending and where I’m spending it.

I also like it because it tells me how I’m doing with my income goals.

Money with Katie also has a budget template that’s pretty cool, too. Full transparency, I bought it, but I’ve not used it yet. I like how her template includes a Net Worth Tracker.

My Bookkeeper

I started working with Madison Dearly and her FABULOUS team last year. (Shout-out to Whitney, who is my money fairy godmother.) They have helped me get more organized and stay on top of my bookkeeping monthly. They also let me ask all the dumb questions. (And I have a lot.) 

Xero:

I use Xero for invoicing and bookkeeping. It is so much better than Quickbooks, my lord. Since I do everything here, I can quickly see my business expenses too, which makes it easier for me to update my Shanna Skidmore budget templates. 

Now, last but not least…

Focusing on safety doesn’t eliminate fear. 

Let’s be realistic, okay? 

When you launch something new or share your artwork with the world, you will still be nervous and scared. This is normal. It means YOU CARE. Which is a good thing. We don’t need any more psychopaths in the world. 

(Plus, even 50 Cent still gets nervous before performing. He said in an interview that the day he isn’t nervous before a performance, he feels he shouldn’t perform anymore.)

So…

If you’re scared - great.

Use your fear as fuel.

❤️ XOXO,

Kayti

P.S. If you are woo-woo like me…

You might also be into Flower Remedies.

I’ve been taking this one. (A 2025 essential.)

I’m not going to lie; I feel I have crazy shifts when I take these flower remedies.

I can’t explain it.

Nor do I think there is any substantial science behind it. 

But I love it.

(There are a lot of things in life we can’t explain with science yet. But that won’t stop me from believing. Hello, The Telepathy Tapes.)